We've been open for one month. One month. And already, I can tell you that starting a business is one of the most humbling experiences of my life (yes, I went there). I spent 14 years in the military, including combat deployments. I've done hard things. But launching a small business in 2026, in a niche that most of the mainstream business world doesn't even want to acknowledge? That's a different kind of hard. The kind where the obstacles aren't always in front of you — how do you authentically reach a community built on intimate knowledge and word of mouth as an upstart company?
Well... I guess being into Femdom kinda helped. But not much, not really. Following my favorite Dommes taught me X (neeTwitter). That's about it.
The Economy Doesn't Care About Your Dream
I spent over a decade after the military working for the Department of Veterans Affairs, maintaining critical systems and managing infrastructure that kept patient records running. I'm used to working within broken systems and finding ways to make things function despite the odds. Starting Humbler and Harness has felt a lot like that.
2026 is not a forgiving year for new small businesses. Inflation hasn't gone away. The cost of everything — from platform fees to shipping rates to the basic overhead of running an online storefront — adds up fast. And we made a deliberate choice early on to avoid business loans entirely. That means this business runs on our personal accounts. When a customer places an order, the cost of fulfilling that order comes out of our own pocket first. We pay. Then we wait. Then — hopefully — the customer pays. There is no safety net here. No investor cushion. No line of credit to smooth things out when something goes sideways. Every bad supplier decision, every miscalculated cost, every dollar that slips through the cracks is money that came directly from our family. That's the reality we're working with, and honestly, it's part of why finding the right POD suppliers isn't just a business problem — it's a personal one.
We launched knowing all of this. We launched anyway.
Finding Reliable Suppliers Is Harder Than It Looks
Here's something nobody tells you about print-on-demand: not all of it is equal, and figuring out which suppliers are actually worth your business's reputation takes time you don't feel like you have. Some platforms advertise beautiful mockups but deliver product that looks washed out or cheap the moment it ships. Others have print quality that holds up but shipping times that will destroy your customer experience before anyone even gets a chance to leave a review.
We're still in the process of nailing this down. We've done our research — reading reviews from other small shop owners, comparing print samples, digging into which platforms actually stand behind their product. But one month in, we're still refining. And on top of finding the right supplier, there's the design work itself. In a sea of shops slapping generic text onto a hoodie, standing out means creating original designs that actually mean something to the people wearing them. That takes time, creativity, and a real understanding of the community you're serving. It's not something you can shortcut, and we won't.
Why This Matters to Us — Personally
I could have started any kind of business. I have the technical background, the discipline, the work ethic. But I didn't want to start just any business. I wanted to start one that served a community I believe in — a community that has spent generations fighting for the right to simply exist without apology.
This isn't abstract for me. I have family members who are LGBTQ+. People I love. People I've watched navigate a world that hasn't always made space for them. Growing up around that, and then spending years in the military and the VA — institutions that have historically struggled to include and protect the very people they serve — gave me a perspective that I carry into everything I do now.
Humbler and Harness exists because I believe, at my core, that people are people. Full stop. It doesn't matter what your skin looks like. It doesn't matter what your body looks like, what you're attracted to, what pronouns you use, or what side of an imaginary border you were born on. You deserve to be treated with dignity. You deserve to feel welcome. And you deserve a space — even if it's just a small online shop — that was built with that belief as its foundation, not as an afterthought.
Earning Trust in Communities That Have Seen It All
The kink and LGBTQ+ communities aren't naive. They've watched shop after shop roll in, wave a flag, and disappear the second things stopped being convenient. They've seen performative allyship from brands that couldn't name a single thing they actually did to support the people they were marketing to. These communities talk. And they remember.
We're one month in. We haven't earned that trust yet — not fully. But we're not trying to fake it, either. We're trying to build it the only way it actually gets built: by showing up, being honest, and letting our actions speak louder than our marketing copy. That means being transparent about the struggles of getting this business off the ground. It means being real about what we don't know yet. And it means committing — right now, from the very first month — to making Humbler and Harness a place where every single person who walks through the door feels like they belong.
What's Next
This post isn't a success story. We're not there yet. This is me being honest about where we are, what we've already run into, and why we're pushing through it anyway. We're figuring it out. We're still hunting for the right POD suppliers. We're still learning what works and what doesn't. We're still building the designs that are going to define this brand. But we're not going anywhere.
This business was started by a veteran, a federal employee, and someone who has loved and been loved by people across every line that society tries to draw between us. That's not a marketing angle. That's just who we are — and it's the reason Humbler and Harness exists.
We appreciate you reading. We appreciate you believing in small businesses that are trying to do things the right way. And if you're part of the kink community, the LGBTQ+ community, or both — we see you. We're building this for you. Stick with us.